This past Monday, my Aunt and her daughter (my cousin) came out to visit.
It was the usual food-and-good-natured-visiting, as it is every year--provided someone hasn't died recently. I'll be completely honest when I say that our family get togethers tend to be either during the holidays, and for funerals. Sometimes both at once.
All the same, everything was going generally well--we chatted about school, work, a young cousin of mine that got bucked off a Shetland pony but actually had the courage to get back on (you go, little cousin!)...you know, the usual.
But then, as always, the conversation cycled around to the darker aspects.
Family illness--terminal. Unemployment. Losing homes. General stress and or depression. Bug bucket of laughs at that point.
But soon, also as always, our chattering eventually circled right back around to 'happy', or at least semi-happy, with everyone talking about winning the lottery, or some other large sum of money, saying what they'd do when they'd win.
When. Not if.
And...I don't know. It all just sort of struck me, right then and there. The inevitability of this conversation--the inevitability of holiday cheer. It literally happens every year, I'm not kidding, this same conversation about how much easier everything would be if God or fate or the universe or whatever have you would just cut us some slack, give us a break, and gift us something for a change. And I mean, yeah, okay, I guess that for technicality's sake, this is a slightly morbid and unrealistic outlook, but at the same time...
Can I really blame them?
My parents work very hard for what little we do have, and the rest of my family works very hard for what they have, as well; as someone who is frequently called out on being an optimist (and trust me, most days I don't even know how that happened), I can definitely acknowledge that when my parents and older relatives start talking about winning money to easy woes, it's both frustrating and uplifting.
I so rarely see hliday cheer in my house, which is probably why I try to over compensate by practically oozing it out and all over everyone's shoes. Yes, it's exhausting, but I really do believe that it would be more exhausting to just give into the pessimism and general negativity that the holiday season is, unfortunately, heir to.
So yes, while it's somewhat shocking to see my ordinarily grim-faced family get excited over the maybe's of life, it's also rather...nice.
It's nice that in at least this one instance, I can count on them--and on the apparent inevitability of their daydreaming--to be present, even if it's only for about a week each year (the time it normally takes for all the family to come visit, because trust me, this conversation gets repeated for each group).
Maybe it makes me naive, or idealistic, or even a bleeding heart, but in a world where everything really, truly, and sophisticatedly sucks, it's good to be able to count on something.
A job could be lost in the morning.
A home could be taken within a month of the job loss.
Many things may be wanted, but inly a few can be afforded.
The inevitability of holiay cheer--or the closest we can get to it, circumstances being what they are--is truly a thing to celebrate. When it's so hard to give, and in some cases even harder to receive, knowing the hardships imposed upon others for some such gifting, it's easy to embrace conversations about the what-I'll-do's and the when-this-happens's. It's nice to see that fundamentally, for at least some aspects, people don't have to change for the worse when their lives and circumstances do.
A lot of things change, but thankfully, the inevitability of holiday cheer, and even 'cheer', does not have to be one of them. And that makes life a little easier to swallow.
A happy holiday to you.
